Friday, December 30, 2005

Late night musings

I think the last time I posted anything was last week when I first arrived in BR.. well, I'm still here with a few days to go. I've been having a great time and I can't put into words how great it is to be home. I have to admit it's tough being around my parents for so long, but I love just being out and not doing anything. Some days we'll get the car to run errands and end up driving around. On one of my first runs, I went by my old elementary school, middle school, my college apartments, and the memories (good and bad) come back to me.

I'm not a shopper, but I've done a lot of shopping and finally bought stuff for myself. It's been awhile since I've bought clothes that's not triathlon or workout related, so I made sure to get a few things. Granted I'm in a fat stage right now, but whatever. I've been out partying and having a good time. My little cousins were in for a few days from Illinois and we all went bowling. Christmas morning was good, but my dad was awake for the family picture. I hope to post them sometime. I spent the evening with my older sister and played her and my other sister in a couple games of air hockey, and came out undefeated at the end, 2-0. We grew up playing on an old table top set, so we're cut throat about it. And I've been able to spend some good quality time with my nephew. He is such a good kid and I love him to death.

And it's times like this when I long to move back to Michigan. I've thought about it a lot over the past couple of days. I remember back in late July of 2001 when I lived in Ann Arbor and had dinner with my older sister and her then soon-to-be-husband. I told her that I was going to be moving out East and she said "I don't want my kids to grow up not knowing their aunts". I didn't think that mattered much then, but it's tearing at me now that she has a little one. I want him to know me and I don't want to miss out on him growing up. I want to spoil him, teach him naughty words, give him sugar and give him back to his mom. I want to be the cool aunt. But how can I do that from a distance?

Yknow, I went for a run Wednesday afternoon and it great to not see another soul on my route. I went sans ipod because I wanted to hear my surroundings.. which was absolutely nothing. It was just my breathing and the pounding of my feet. No sirens. No horns honking. No whiny tourists. I liked the solitude.. just me and the world.. nothing else mattered.

But there's so much that matters. I've been weighing the pros and cons of moving back. What is there for me here? What would I be leaving behind in DC? I have a decent job, but it's not what I want to be doing for the next 20 yrs; I live in a decent part of DC that's close to public transportation, a grocery store, and a CVS that's a short walk to downtown DC and its restaurants and attractions. I'm a 2 hour drive away from 5 states, the ocean, and the mountains. I have a good core group of friends and training partners. Do I want to start over? Would I continue to do triathlons if I moved home?

I'm looking forward to New Years and having a rockin' time, but I also start looking back and wonder what I've done and if I'm closer to my goals. I don't make resolutions, but I like to make yearly 'to do' lists. I'm sure I'll start thinking about that over the next couple of days as well as writing down my pros and cons. The longer I'm home, the more homesick I get.

Time to hit the hay.

PS.. I got an A- in my SAS programming class :D


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