Sunday, December 04, 2005

Pandora's Box

Without reading back, I've realized a lot of what I've written might not make sense.. that there is no flow to my daily entries. I think the only thing I've really talked openly about is my drinking habits over the past month, my parents visit for Thanksgiving, and I've mentioned a recent break up. Rarely have I talked about my training, school, and said break up. The rest has been talk of another past relationshiop (or two) and a lot of random thoughts.

Maybe it's the holidays that's doing this to me, but I feel like Pandora's box might be opening. Below is the story..


Pandora was a friend of Epimetheus, who was given a box by Quicksilver. He was a man who wore "and odd kind of cloak" and he had on a cap made partially of feathers. He smiled a lot and carried a staff that looked like two serpents twisting around the stick. He couldn't keep from laughing when he left this box, which Pandora thought contained pretty dresses for her or something for the two of them to eat.

Pandora continued to gaze at this box, which she for thousands of years called ugly. She began to realize the beauty of this box.. the dark, polished surface that shone so that Pandora could see herself in it. She also saw another face carved in the top. The edges were graced with carvings of men, women, and pretty children. Yet as she caught a few glimpses of a face, it didn't look so lovely. When looking closer, she noticed that some faces that was really beautiful had "been made to look ugly by her catching a sideways glimpse at it."

The box was fastened not by a lock, but a fine knot of gold cord. Pandora examined this cord, which appeared to have no beginning and no end. She ran the cord between her thumb and forefinger, trying to figure out the ins and outs of the twisted cord. She kept trying to guess what might be inside. Finally deciding to at least try to find two ends to the cord, she was soon busily trying to undo it. She happened to glance at the face on the lid of the box to see it slyly grinning at her, mischievously. She gave the knot a kind of twist and the gold cord untwined itself. At this point she feared she'd be accused of looking into the box, so she figured she might as well do so. She began to hear distinctly the small voices from within the box, almost whispering in her ear, "Let us out dear Pandora.. We will be such nice, pretty playfellows for you!"

"As Pandora raised the lid, the cottage grew very dark; for the black cloud had now swept quite over the sun and seemed to have buried it alive. There had, for a little while past, been a low growling and muttering which all at once broke into a heavy peal of thunder. But Pandora, unmindful of all this, lifted the lid nearly upright and looked inside. It seemed as if a sudden swarm of winged creatures brushed past her, taking flight out of the box, while at the same instant she heard Epimetheus calling as if in pain, "Oh, I am stung!' he cried. I am stung! Naughty Pandora! why have you opened this wicked box?""

Everything that has since troubled our souls and bodies had been shut up in the mysterious box and given to Epimetheus and Pandora to be kept safely in order that the happy children of the world might never be harmed by them. The first thing that they did was to fling open the doors and windows in hope of getting rid of them: Sure enough, away flew the winged Troubles all abroad to torment the small people, everywhere.

The naughty Pandora and hardly less naughty Epimetheus remained in their cottage. Both of them had been grievously stung, and were in a good deal of pain, which seemed the more unbearable to them because it was the very first pain that had ever been felt since the world began. Suddenly there was a gentle tap on the inside of the lid. "What can that be?" cried Pandora, lifting her head. There was another sweet, little voice coming from within the box. She begged to be let out, claiming she wasn't like the stinging creatures from before. Together, the two children opened the heavy lid and out flew a sunny and smiling little person. She hovered about the room, throwing a light wherever she went. "She flew to Epimetheus and laid the lightest touch of her finger on the spot where the Trouble had stung him, and immediately the pain was gone. Then she kissed Pandora on the forehead, and her hurt was also cured."

She was to be called Hope and would be there as long as they lived. Even during the times they would think she might have vanished, she will be there.


I've been writing a lot recently, most of it not made public (yet), and almost fear doing so. I'd be opening up my Pandora's box and letting out my Troubles. But like the story, in doing so, these Troubles make their way out of my mind, into cyber world, and to those reading. Do I want to risk that? Writing is cathartic, yet spilling my guts is getting out of that comfort zone of mine. Those that thought they knew me might start to see different emotions and dimensions and layers. They have always been there, you just had to dig deeper. Now I'm doing the digging.

But there is Hope. Tucked away in the box was Hope, with the lightest of touch and kiss there to make up for the Troubles.

There is Hope.


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