Monday, April 02, 2007

Open Season

Deep breaths... innnn.... ouuuuttt..

Again.. innn... ouuuuttt..

One more time and through your nose... aaaahhh...

Remind yourself, "this will be over in October, this will be over in October, this will be over in October.. this might slow down in September.. "

They are back with avengance.

If you're from the area, you know who I'm referring to.


Out in full force.

Thank you, Cherry Blossom Festival, for luring the stupid people to the District.

I swear..

Apparently it's cool to cross the road where ever and whenever you want to, especially if it's not a cross walk. If they do decide to use the designated "hey, I'm between the white lines while the white stick man is flashing at me" area, it's cool.. until they start sprinting across the street when the light turns green for me. Thanks, folks.

Maybe I'm just used to commuters doing this. I'm used to the "Working Girl" attire and messenger bags and the ipods.

I. just. don't. do. strollers.

Segue.. what's with the Stroller Brigade. It's cool that you bring your kids to the District. Fabulous. You probably shouldn't leave them fenced in the kitchen area with newspaper lining the floor "just in case of a poopie" with an over flowing bowl of Cheerios and note saying "back in a few days". However, that is why I love cats. But what's a 2 year old gonna get out of a week in DC? Do you think they'll remember the pandas? Do they know "The President's Song", or the "13 Colonies" song? (you're singing it to yourself.. I know it..) Do they really care about "the pretty flowers"? Do they understand The Wall? My guess is no. So leave the baby and the stroller at home and come when they can really apprecitate the city. Me? I was 23 yrs old when I first came here and I'm glad I waited so long. I have yet to see/do most "touristy" stuff.. and for good reason - t.o.u.r.i.s.t.s.

But I've noticed what an accessory this stroller is. It's to carry your crap. Your shopping bags and souvenirs.

And speaking of said 'crap', I don't know what makes spotting a tourist so easy..

Let's start with wearing DC themed clothing..

- "You don't know me" Tshirts
- "Witness Protection Program" Tshirts
- Anything cherry blossom related.
- FBI hats
- My favorite.. pink FBI hats
- Anything DC related on a Tshirt
- Smithsonian 'hoodies'.. seriously..


- Fanny packs - I love them as much as anything pink
- Talking on the metro. If you live here, you just know that's a no-no.
- Escalator etiquette and taking pictures in the metro/riding the escalators is just too obvious.
- Shoes - the taller, the more platform, the more dressy, the least practical to wear in such a walkable city.

I'm going to stop here. I feel my blood pressure rising.

Innn.... (breath.. ) Ouutttt...

I need to swim. There shouldn't be any tourists at the pool.


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