Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Morbid Thoughts

When I have time on my hands to think, I think too much..

For some unknown reason, I was thinking a lot about death over the weekend. Not suicide.. oh no, I thought about that so much in middle school that I'm over it. I do, however, walk over bridges and wonder what it'd be like to jump into the water. It's more of a curiosity thing, though.

But I was thinking about death.. finding out that I'm sick with a few months to live. I thought about who I'd tell and when and how. Quiting my job and moving back to Michigan to live out my final days. Spend as much time with family and friends and do as much as possible with the time I had left.

Pretty messed up, eh?

Yah, well, enough of that.. I have a couple events coming up this weekend I nead to focus on. Quoting one of my favorite movies "get busy living or get busy dying.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Rock in a hard place

It was a long week for me. Granted, I had President's Day off for vacation, I'd been feeling ill most of the week and was at work only Thursday and Friday. I've slept more in the last week than I have all of February. You'd think I'd get the hint to slow down..

I found out a couple things Thursday and Friday that will have an effect on the rest of this year.. and the other on the next couple of years.

Thursday - I found out that a race I'll be doing in early June will have Ironman slots available. Ironman tris fill up in hours, so you have to register the year before. There are also community fund slots, which cost $1,000 and about $600 goes to charity, as well as slots available at select half-Ironman races. I wasn't sure how busy I'd be this year, so I didn't sign up for anything last year. I had hoped to get a slot at the race in June, until finding out in Oct or so that they wouldn't have slots available. I had hoped to get into Lake Placid, which will be July 23rd, but then mentally switched gears to doing it next year. The Outgames are in Montreal the following week, so I put that in mind for doing this year. I figure 'what the hell' since it'd be a once in a lifetime thing. Well, it turns out there WILL be IM slots at the half IM in June. Now I'm torn. I only know of one other person going to Montreal and I've mentally calculated the expense to go there on my own for a week - car rental (I don't own one and would drive up, hotel, registration, food, gas, etc..). I'm sure doing LP would be cheaper, but I could do that just about any year.

Decisions, Decisions..

Friday - I found out that morning during the 'daily huddle' with my group that my Slipper Manager is three months pregnant. I figured she was as she's been going to a number of doctors appointments over the last month. She's also been pushing to hire someone new saying 'we'll be busy this year.' I started putting two and two together.. not that hard. Maybe I'm reading into it too much, and I should be happy for her, but I've been thinking about when I can leave the company. This isn't something I want to be doing for the rest of my life and I'll have been there 4 years come April. When I finish my grad certificate in December, I'll have to stay on with the company another year before leaving since they are paying for schooling. If I leave before then, the payment is considered a loan, and I'd have to shell out over $6,500. And this is why I won't ever have kids.. it's because I'm selfish. So it looks like she's due in September, when I'll be taking my last class. Give her.. oh, 6 weeks maternity leave.. maybe a few vacation weeks, too, and that leaves me a long time to be boss. I'm not boss material. The last time my boss got pregnant, I was working in Ann Arbor at the time, and I fled to the East Coast. Why? Because I didn't want the responsibility.

Selfish, I know.

So it gets me to thinking if she'll change careers post-baby and become a full time mom, making me the boss. Again, puts a damper on my plans to leave. I'm sure she doesn't even know that yet, either. And who knows what I'll be doing then, too.

A lot to think about, and I'm spending way too much time on it as is.

No wonder why I'm so freakin tired..

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Feeling Vincible

I don't get sick. In fact, I do as much as possible to avoid getting sick.. I eat right, I workout, I take my vitamins... but I don't get enough sleep.

I can only run on 4-5 hours of sleep/night for so long.

There comes a time when what my body wants to do will over rule what my brain wants to do. My brain wants to get up at 5:30am to bike or run or swim.. my brain wants to say up until 1am studying. My body, however, wants a minimum of 7 hrs of sleep.

What can I do?

After a busy few weeks of travel.. to San Fran in the middle of Jan, then back to Michigan 3 weeks later and again the following the weekend for some major boozin. I was still recovering when I went back on the 10th, and hit the bottle hard then. I tried to get back on track with school and training the next couple weeks until it hit me on the 16th. I tried to head it off at the pass and combat any ill feelings with high volumes of Vitamin C, Dayquil, and Echinacea.. but to no avail.

So I spent most of Saturday and Sunday sleeping. I went for an hour run on Monday followed by an easy hour on the bike. My heart rate when I started the run was just under 100 bpm and averaged 170 on the run. That's not good especially since it was an easy effort. I went to dinner with ex-K that night, then came home and went to bed. I felt no better the next morning and worked from home to avoid getting my coworkers sick, dragged my ass, to class, then back home to bed. Was no better Wednesday. I worked from home in the morning, went downstairs to watch some hockey and curling, then woke up 5 hours later when my sister came home from work.

Feeling a little better today, minus the lack of appetite, mild nausea, and overall 'blah' feeling, but after checking my work email last night, I knew I had to be in the office today. I don't mind working from home, but there are some limitations. I am not prepared for class having not read the required chapters nor have I read that articles that will be discussed. Oh well.

I missed going to the gym Tuesday, the first time since Jan 17th. I will be there tonight even if it's just to do some core work. I look at my racing schedule and I have something coming up next weekend. I know I'm not in shape, but I usually do races to get into shape and/or to see how far out of shape I really am. We'll see how that goes.

I like to say I'm feeling, blah, 'eh', or not up to par before I'll admit that I'm sick. I'm not to that point, though, cuz I feel like it's admitting defeat. I'm not one to give in that quickly, either. I don't like to feel vulnerable.. mortal. Apparently I have this 'hard ass' image I'm supposed to live up to.

Don't want to disappoint.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Happy Birthday Corn Flakes

Oh, what a festive day in the cereal biz as Battle Creek, Michigan's own Kellogg's Corn Flakes turns 100 yrs old this week!

BUT!! Did you know...

"The history of corn flakes goes back to the late 19th century, when a group of Seventh-day Adventists began to develop new food to meet the standards of their strict vegetarian diet. Members of the group experimented with a number of different grains, including wheat, oats, rice, and of course, corn. In 1894, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, the superintendent of The Battle Creek Sanitarium in Battle Creek, Michigan and an Adventist, used these recipes as part of a strict vegetarian regimen for his patients, which also included no alcohol, tobacco, or caffeine. The diet he imposed consisted entirely of bland foods, since he believed in sexual abstinence and following the precepts of Sylvester Graham, the inventor of graham crackers and graham bread and felt that spicy or sweet foods would increase passions, while cornflakes would have an antaphrodisiac property."

Graham was a bit of a freak himself..

"He was an early advocate of dietary reform in America most notable for his emphasis on vegetarianism, and the temperance movement, as well as sexual and dietary habits.

In 1829 he invented Graham bread, made from unsifted and unbolted flour and free from chemical additives such as alum and chlorine. Graham argued that chemical additives in bread made it unwholesome, and he was correct: both alum and chlorine are now known to be toxic. The use of additives by bakeries was a common practice during the Industrial Revolution to make bread whiter in color, and more commercially appealing. Darker wheat bread was considered the fare of country rubes. Refined bread was a status symbol of the middle class because of its "purity and refinement" in its color and was purchased, rather than home-made. Graham believed that a firm, crusty bread made of coarsely ground whole-wheat flour was more nutritious and healthy.

Graham was also inspired by the temperance movement and preached that a vegetarian diet was a cure for alcoholism, and, more importantly, sexual urges. The main thrust of his teachings was to curb lust. While alcohol had useful medicinal qualities, it should never be abused by social drinking. For Graham, an unhealthy diet stimulated excessive sexual desire which irritated the body and caused disease. While Graham developed a significant following known as Grahamites, he was also ridiculed by the media and the public for his unwavering zealotry. According to newspaper records, many women fainted at his lectures when he aired opinions both on sexual relations and his invective against the wearing of corsets."

A vegetarian diet a cure for alcoholism? I'm living proof that's not true.

So if your significant other wants to have sex and you're not in the mood, don't blame it on a headache or that you're tired.. just say you ate too many Graham crackers or had too many bowls of corn flakes.

Corn flakes


Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Smear the Queer!!

ahh... grade school revisited!!

Sort of..

There are many times that I just don't like my job, but I have to admit that I like the people I work with. There's a core group of cool people that will go out to lunch for birthdays and drinks and I'll even let my guard down with a few of them. Do I consider them my friends? Eh.. there is a line I draw that I don't like to cross when it comes to work and personal life; I like to keep the two separate.

So at my office of 250+ people, there are about 45 in my department and 7 or so in my immediate group. In our department, we have a 'fun team' that will plan.. well, fun stuff. The past couple of years, our department performed well and exceeded expectations, so we had big celebrations. In May 2003, we took the train up to NYC Friday morning, spent the afternoon there, had a nice dinner, and saw "The Man of LaMancha". Afterwards we found a bar and from there one group went back to the hotel, another group went dancing, and the cool group went to a strip club (yours truly included). In Oct 2004, we went to Annapolis and took a boat cruise out to a crab feast lunch. Yours truly had a special vegetable dish specially made, however, I preferred to eat the corn and drink the Yuengling. Then the cool kids went to the bar afterwards and to another bar for dinner. Needless to say, that was the first of many nights that I got in trouble with the then Mrs.

The smaller stuff includes a happy hour every other month, bowling, laser tag, and an ethnic dinner. This is a potluck where we bring a dish to pass from our 'native land'. We have a number of people from all corners of the US - Cali, Minnesota, Jersey, Michigan, Texas - as well as the world - Israel, India, and China. It's a good time. And most of the time there is drinking involved, which the department pays for.

So Friday, Feb 10th was a preview to Friday, Feb 17th. The company had a Fun Friday, but our department had one as well where we watched "Dodgeball". On the 17th, we played dodgeball.. not smear the queer as the title assumes, but I just like saying that cuz I was out there and the boys were gunnin for the good chick. It's comical to see my coworkers let their guard down and have fun. I was surprised to see some of the chicks participating, even if they threw the ball like they were inbounding the ball in soccer.. STILL! They were out there.

It was a good time.. especially going to The Green Turtle afterwards for drinks and food. Here I am on my way to getting plastered.. thanks in part to the company who paid for the refreshments.

Monday, February 20, 2006

It Beats a Sharp Stick in the Eye..

My girls came away with the bronze, but at least they medaled.

And I gotta say... watching curling the other day was awesome! Those girls kick ass!

A Tax on the Poor.. and Stupid

Okay.. so the Powerball lottery was at $365 million on Saturday, right? I'm not a big gambler, nor do I play the lottery all that often, but when it gets that high, it's very tempting to throw a couple bucks in.


My mom called at 11:30am Saturday morning, waking me up, and asked that I buy her a ticket. It was her birthday that day, and what a gift it would be if she hit it big, eh? She said that's the only gift she wanted. My parents are at that "donate money to charity, don't get me anything" stage when it comes to Christmas or their birthday. They have what they need. Nonetheless, I got her a picture of my sister and I when we were in San Francisco last month. A little more updated than the other one of us that she has after the Ironman in Wisconsin in 2002. That is a good one, though..

So my sister and I head out around 7pm to get some groceries and our winning tickets. We're a bit dumbfounded and at a loss, as our others, when we walk in and see the lottery machine is down. I overhear one of the Safeway workers mentioning to another customer the liquor store down the street. I've never been to that store since it's.. well, it's on the other side of the dividing line between the 'good' and the 'bad' section of my neighborhood. I figure if I go there with my sis, things won't be too bad. Of course there's a line, but those are people with their own numbers. Most of the time, it's the quick pick that wins, so that's what I go for. Besides, the guy already has a bunch printed off and is handing them out. While in line, a woman comes up to me and says, "If I give you $100, will you buy me 50 tickets and you can have 50 tickets?"

"What's the catch?" was my first thought

"Are you serious?" is what I really asked her.

"Wouldn't that be great if we won??" she replied.

I wasn't gonna argue.. so I got my numbers then took her C note and got 50 for her and 50 for me. We stepped outside and I plugged her cell number into my phone under 'Lott Amy' in case we hit it big. She was visiting from Arizona and was staying at the hotel across the street from where my sister works. My sis also noticed that she wasn't hurtin for money since she had her own driver and a Lincoln Townecar. We walked home.

So how did I do? Well, I checked that night and saw that I hit a few numbers here and there, but never enough on the same line. I did get the Powerball number 3 times, so I did win $9. Two of those came on the 50 tickets I got for free.

I figure it wasn't enough to call Amy. It should be enough to get me to/from work a couple days this week.

Saturday, February 18, 2006


I can't begin to tell you how upsetting it is that the US women's hockey team won't be playing for the gold at the Olympics..

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Resolution Update #3

Damn.. time for another update? Already??

Well, can't say much has changed since the last update. I have started keeping track of my workouts and I'm proud to say that I've been to the gym every Tues/Thurs night after class. Sometimes I only get in 20 min and some nights a solid 45min. Not sure why boss man has to come in and say 'last set' at 9:45pm. C'mon, man! Gym is open until 10pm.. cut me some slack. Haven't been in on the weekends since I've been back in MI the past 2 weekends, but will get back on track again.

My right elbow had been bugging me, so I've been cutting back on the pushups considerably. At work, if I'm in the bathroom or waiting for food to cook in the kitchen, I'll place my hands on the counter and knock out a few sets of push ups. I try to vary my hand placement with these since they are a little easier since I'm not working against gravity that much, and focus on either keeping my hands close to my body (triceps) or hands together.

When I do my negatives or 'assisted' pull-ups with the squat rack (assisted since my feet are on the ground), I only do a few reps. My goal is 2 pull ups, so with the assisted pull ups, I'll do 3 sets of 3 pull ups.. slow and controlled. For the negatives, I can still only hang for about 4 seconds (forearms and biceps at 90 deg angle). I'll do about 5 sets of these with 15-20 sec rest in between. More rest depending on how much time I have, but I've been ending my workouts with the pull-ups and am usually rushed to get a few negatives in.

I have noticed a little bit of improvement. With the negatives, after slowly lowering myself down, I usually just let go of the bar when arms are fully extended. Last night, instead of letting go, I started the pull up motion. The arms look like they are bending a few degrees more than last time, but it's probably not that noticeable. However, it doesn't feel as strained; it's more of a natural, dare I say 'fluid', movement.

Again, I think the biggest thing holding me back is the weight. I have a couple races coming up in less than a month, so the cardio is going to skyrocket. I'm getting a better handle on what I eat and, aside from the Lucky Charms, I don't eat a lot of junk anyway. I just eat too much fatty stuff - pistaschios and peanut butter to be exact. It's good fat, but I need to cut back the quantity of each. I did run a few miles at lunch today, biked 75 min tonight, and did a short 2.5 mile run off the bike. Not bad.. and I'm not too sore.

Still goin strong

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Pink is the New Heather Grey

Anyone can tell me, and I hope that they do, that I don't look good in pink.

That's cool. Be honest, please.

I've professed how much I hate shopping and will reiterate that point - I hate shopping. Nothing fits me. I have a big ass, broad shoulders, and a wide back. Should lay off the lifting, eh? Not a chance. On top of nothing fitting, the colors suck. With workout/running stuff, I end up buying men's stuff - especially shirts - for 4 main reasons:

1. loose fitting - won't cling to my belly
2. length - covers said belly
3. sleeves - real sleeves, none of this faux or 3/4 sleeve shit
4. color

Not all chicks like to wear tight fitting stuff.. not all chicks are under size 10.. and not all chicks like pretty, fru-fru, pastelly colors.

I am one of those 'not all' chicks.

So when I went "real clothes" shopping back in December, I realized I needed more color in my wardrobe. I wear the usual heather greys, forest greens, khaki, and navy blues cuz I look good in it. But I wanted to step outside that comfort zone, so I went ahead a used an Old Navy gift card to buy this jacket.

After finding one in "my size" (a friggin XXL! damn shoulders and lats..), I went with it because it wasn't me.. wasn't something I'd normally buy.

And then I realized today how many pink items I actually have.

I even picked up a couple pink carnations today (happy vday to me) and have a 'pink' waffle knit shirt from JCrew that I've had for years. I'm bummed that I lost my pink Nalgene bottle today after class and the padlock was free from a coworker that didn't need it. (EDIT: called the school and I left my bottle at the computers outside the classroom. Was lost, now is found!)

Now.. I should clarify that the Old Navy jacket color is really 'molten copper' and the JCrew shirt is 'currant'. However, the floral pattern on the inside of the jacket isn't flying too well with the other butches.. 'molten copper' or not..

For me, this is a lot. Around the time I got the watch in September (FYI, I won it so I didn't have a say on the color), I needed to get a new pair of running shoes and the only color I could find in my size (of my style that was being discontinued), was pink.

However, I did find the blue/silver pair in my size at an expo.

I was thinking of getting this, preferably with a DC on it, to add to the collection..

It's sooo me.

I think I need to tone it down a little bit. The feminization process is getting a bit out of hand.

Now where did I put that flannel shirt..

Bah Humbug..

Nope.. I don't have my holidays mixed up, just not a big fan of Vday anymore. It was cool when you were a kid, but I'm come to realize how commercialized it is, as are most holiday's now. Hallmark is making a killing!

I remember in grade school decorating shoe boxes that would house the valentine's from all the kids in class. Yknow.. when you could buy the box of 30 'cards' of Bugs Bunny, Strawberry Shortcake, or Hello Kitty that barely had enough room on the back to write To: From: on it. I remember getting teased in the 4th grade for writing To: Love: on the back of my cards for all the boys. Nothing was said about the inclusion on the back of the cards for the girls. I can only imagine the shit I'd get if I were back in the 4th grade now.

I remember the carnations you could send in middle school. For $1 or something, you could send a flower with a note attached to it to a friend, bf, or gfriend. I was a little jealous of those walking around the halls with near bouquets of flowers. I was happy to have my 2 or 3 singles from friends that were thoughtful enough to think of me.

In highschool, you'd walk by the front office and scan the list of names up in the window announcing something for you to pick up. The counter was full of flowers and the space above with heart shaped balloons. I didn't bother checking the board. My father made our lunches everyday and on Vday would include a small box of the conversation hearts.

I did have one good Vday in the past that I can remember. Two years ago, ex-K and I went up to Berkeley Springs, West Virginia. We stayed at a cheap place and had brunch at Coolfont Resort before wandering around the antique shops and hitting the spa at Berkeley Springs State Park. We exchanged small gifts and my stupid homemade 'flip book of coupons' was trumped by a ring even with the 'no jewelry' policy we had agreed on. Not THAT kind of ring.. it was to replace a similar ring that I had lost/thrown away that was given to me by ex-A. When we split, I moved it to the middle finger on the opposite hand, as I did with the ring from A after that split. It wasn't working on that finger, so I had to move it back.. and now I feel naked if I'm ever without it.

I've purged myself of a lot of items from those 2.5 yrs, but I've still held on to a few things. I'm sure I still have some of those old valentine's cards and notes from grade school and middle school. My parents shipped us candy last month, but it didn't last more than a week.

I'm cool not having to dodge would-be card buyers in CVS looking for 'the one'. I'll continue with my Tuesday routine of work, class, and the gym. And I might pick up some flowers from one of the sellers outside the metro.

A couple single stems will suffice.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Dinner of Champions

I was convinced I should buy junk food whilst grocery shopping tonight. I had enough junk this week, but I agreed to buy cereal. I can't really tell you the last time I bought a box of cereal, but I think it was Nature's Path Optimum Power or Flax Plus, Kashi Go Lean, or Good Friends. Yknow.. the one with the lesbians on the front of the box. I'm more of an oatmeal, omelet, or protein packed pancakes kinda gal, but the LC's is about as 'junky' as I would go. They are still magically delicious and I still eat them as freakishly now as I did as a kid. I eat all the oats first and saving, or should I say 'savoring' the marshmallows for last. Then I eat them by their order in the rainbow. However, it's become a bit more difficult with the addition of multicolored 'mallows and funky designs. None the less, I did as I was told.

Back to my grown-up breakfast of eggs with feta and spinach.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Answer: Sofa King

Question: How tired am I?

I haven't recovered from last weekend's trip home.
I'm falling behind in my classes and staying up late trying to catch up on my reading.

Not sure how long I can keep going on 3.5-4 hrs of sleep a night.

I gave my presentation tonight and I BOMBED. This is how nervous I was.. my ass was trembling. And to top things off, near the end of my presentation, I spit. Thank god it went toward the middle of the room where no one was sitting. Heck, the night started off on a bad note as I was nodding off 20 minutes into the class! I usually do this at meetings or training sessions at work; it's almost expected of me. So I left the room and went to the bathroom, splashed some cold water on my face, and I was good to go. You should see the notes I took. Needless to say, I stunk it up big time. I don't think class can get any worse than today since I set a pretty low standard. Only way is up.

I'm up way past my bed time.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

One of "those" days

Yknow what I'm talking about.. we've all had one. It can be a variety of things. It can be where the day starts of great then you wonder 'what happened'? A few examples..

-It can be a 'nothing can go wrong' day were you roll out on the right side of the bed and it just keeps getting better.

-There's the 'nothing can go wrong.. until 7pm' day where you're whistlin' away to yourself, enjoying the day.. and you walk off a cliff.

-The classic 'can it get any worse?' day where you roll out on the wrong side of the bed and you keep rolling.

-And finally, there's the 'can it get any worse? Yes it can.. and it will' day. Similar to the one above, but in addition to rolling out on the wrong side of the bed, you continue to roll. But you roll over broken glass, downed power lines, the carcass of a skunk.. then you get hit by a deer.. and you start your period earlier than expected.

This week has been mostly the last item on the list. I keep mentioning how things are busy at work and it doesn't seem to be letting up any time soon. I'm still trying to recover from this past weekend of traveling before taking off again this weekend. I think it's the cabin air that has me feeling 'blah' and not the smoky bowling alley, or staying up until 3:30am and trying to survive Sunday on four hours of "sleep".. yeah, and there was some alcoholic beverages consumed Friday and Saturday.. but I digress.

Today was a classic 'can it? yes it..' day until I got home from the gym. I had a good workout and the attendant didn't kick me out at 9:45pm like the usual guy does. I did my thang and figuratively skipped home even though I knew I had work and homework waiting for me.. and not at the front door in Saran Wrap.. again.. I digress. However, awaiting me in my inbox was a bit of good news. It doesn't matter that it's 2am and I'm still sending out emails for work while I type this.. or that I have to get up in 3.5 hrs to get on the bike.. or that I still have a presentation to prepare for Thursday night's class.


This bit o' good news turned my 'can it? yes it..' day to a 'can? yes it.. it did, but WAIT!' day. I won't get into it as I was successfully as vague as I wanted to be. Oh, I'm sure the suspense will keep you on the edge of your seats.. and coming back for me.

I was committed before, but this has solidified it.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Just Fartin' Around

ColorQuiz Personality Test.

"The test itself is based upon fundamentals in color psychology. With years of research by color psychologists the characteristics of certain colors has been identified to cause an emotional response in people. This was done by studying the response from hundreds of thousands of test subjects around the world in order to isolate how certain colors make us feel. By doing the reverse, using the colors people prefer to determine how people feel, we can get some interesting indicators about a person's current emotional state.

It is important to understand that the results from tests like this can be both short-term and long-term in their meaning. For example, if you are feeling depressed about something when you take the test you may see this reflected in your results. You may also notice deeper conflicts showing themselves consistantly if you take the test time and time again. This test can be taken quite often and still yield results that are accurate. The results will not be the same each time you take the test, for the most part, unless you are taking them without some time interval between them."


So here are my results..

Exsisting Situation
Is seeking a solution to existing problems or anxieties, but is liable to find it difficult to decide on a right course to follow.

Stress Sources
Wants freedom to follow her own convictions and principles, to achieve respect as an individual in her own right. Desires to avail herself of every possible opportunity without having to submit to limitations or restrictions.

Restrained Characteristics
Feels she is receiving less than her share, but that she will have to conform and make the best of her situation.

Feels that she is receiving less than her share and that there is no one on who she can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions make her quick to take offense, but she realizes that she has to make the best of things as they are.

Feels trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way of gaining relief. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.

Becomes distressed when her needs or desires are misunderstood and feels that she has no one to turn to or rely on. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Desired Objective
Seeks an affectionate relationship, offering fulfillment and happiness. Capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Helpful, and willing to adapt herself if necessary to realize the bond of affection she desires. Needs the same consideration and understanding from others.

Actual Problem
Does not wish to be involved in differences of opinion, contention or argument, preferring to be left in peace.

Actual Problem #2
Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.


Is it 100% accurate? Of course not. I see a lot of myself in the results and I'm sure those that know me can as well. Under the 'restrained characteristics', I must disagree with "Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense". I am quick to take offense when I'm described as egocentric. Maybe others will disagree with me, but I do what I can to lay low, stay in the background, and not draw attention to myself. And I'm sure having a blog contradicts all of this, but I digress..

And show me a person who doesn't "want(s) to be valued and respected".

Pick me apart.

Monday, February 06, 2006

My only request for Homecoming 2006!

As much as it was talked about this weekend, I figured I should post this now.

I know I brought the cups last year.. but I think we might need a truck to haul these puppies!

Would be one helluva game of Tippy Cup!

Weekend in Review - #2

Oy.. what a weekend.

It seems like I've been flying every 2 weeks or so. I was back in MI for Christmas and flew back the 3rd of Jan, I flew to San Fran the 13th-15th of Jan, and I just got back from a wedding back in Michigan. I had a great time on all the trips, but there are times when I just want to be home after a long day of traveling.. hungover, too. What didn't help with tonight's trip is that the plane was delayed leaving airport #1 because of noise restrictions in Detroit because of the Super Bowl going on.. or something like that. So the plane sat idling on the runway and I did my homework while the guy next to me hogged the armrest and snored. I was going on 4 hrs of passed out 'sleeping' and could've used some shut eye, but I knew that if I did sleep, I'd end up snoring like him. I admitted to a few people this weekend that I am the occasional bed wetter and I also drool. You see, I get so relaxed and.. and.. ohnevermind. We finally took off 45 minutes behind schedule and I knew I'd be cutting it close to catch my connecting flight to DC. I did make it (thanks to my expertise in 'fast packing' with my heavy backpack), however, upon reaching DC, I realized my bag didn't make it. So I started making a mental list of everything in the bag and if I needed anything right away. The first thing that came to mind wasn't really the bags contents, but the smell of the contents. That shit was ripe when I stuffed it in there and it was only getting worse. My plan when I got home was to throw it all in the wash, even if I didn't wear it, and now the stench was seeping further in to the fabric. My bag was finally delivered to me at 11pm, after I arrived in DC at 5:30pm, and the clothes made their way to the washer. The end to a long day.

I keep saying that I love going back to Michigan and how tough it is coming back. I hope I never stop saying how much I enjoy going back to Michigan because it's home and I know I'm welcome there by so many people throughout the state. However, I have to admit that I was looking forward to getting back to DC. It didn't really hit me until I started writing this, but something was said to me a number of times over the weekend by the same person and it's finally sinking in.

"Jakes, your priorities are changing. You're committed."

I knew it was going to be a tough weekend. I knew even before leaving for Michigan that I had a busy week of work ahead of me as well as a crapload of homework to do - exorcises, a lot of reading and a presentation to prepare. When I told a few people of my weekend plans, they all said the same thing.. "You're not going to get anything done." I don't want to fall behind in my classes and that's why I lug around my big backpack full of the necessities - laptop, books, notebookes, folders, water, and pistachios.

Well, I did the best I could and read as much and as often as I could. I finally had to nap for about 15 minutes total on the two flights home and had to get some shuteye from 9-9:30. I was exhausted. I have more work and studying to do before calling it a night, but I made good progress and did well considering how much I drank.

Nice segue to the topic of my drinking. Apparently it doesn't matter that my last binge drinking episode was New Years Eve Eve and New Years Eve. Since then, I had the 2 glasses of wine on my birthday a couple beers at a hockey game the following week, and a few sips of wine. However, it seems that I've earned a title of sorts as the Mikey from the old Life cereal commercials.

"Give the shot to Jakes, she'll drink it. She'll drink anything!"

Yeah, okay a couple shots of Yagermeister after X pitchers of beer. Yes, you read that correctly. It seems as if my alcoholic beverage consumption isn't measured in beers, but how many "fill in the X" pitchers and/or cases I drink. At NYEE, it was a case of Killian's. Friday night, it was 2.5 pitchers of Killian's. Hey, it beats getting up and buying a beer every 10 minutes. I won't even count from Saturday.

So I might have to start toning it down again.. my priorities are changing, remember? I was reminded of another priority in my life and should probably keep it in mind when I'm out and about.

April 8th. I'm committed.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Pictures from my trail run

Here are a few pictures from my trail run Sunday. There are a few more 'teaser' pictures under the 'Picture Pages' link to the right. Email me if you want the link to all 130 of them in Snapfish album. I had fun running and taking the pics, and you can tell.


Thursday, February 02, 2006

Happy Groundhog Day!

"I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. THAT was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over again?"